Why Not Watching the Women's World Cup Doesn't Make You a Sexist Idiot

The Women’s World Cup kicks off in Germany tomorrow. Cue dozens of columnists, frightened to death of the Andy Gray treatment, insisting that really, women’s football is brilliant, much better than men’s - and the spoilt, careless, disgraceful men could learn much from our brave lionesses. Anyone who disagrees is a knuckle-dragging cave dweller who should be ostracised from society.

Luckily, I’m in no danger of being sacked by Rupert Murdoch, so I can reveal the Inconvenient Truth – women’s football isn’t very good. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. The quality is typically dire, the crowds embarrassing, and everything from the punditry to the handshakes deeply inferior to the male game.

I’m obviously not saying that the fairer sex shouldn’t play football (just want to make that clear) – merely that the guilt-tripping, patronising newspaper features which have surfaced over the past few days are unfair to both sexes. Men shouldn’t be criticised for not watching an inarguably lesser, slower version of what they’re used to, just as most wouldn’t go and watch an under 10s league, and professional female footballers don’t need their heads patted whilst being told that it’s nice that they’re trying so hard.

The oracle of women's football

The Ladies Day theme continues, sadly without exotic hats, with female pundits, commentators and writers roped in with a fringe male chaperone. At the last World Cup this was Gavin Peacock, before he found God and joined that most equal-rights of employers – the Church. It’s all a bit forced, and other than the excellent Gabby Logan, the contributors’ clear lack of experience grates. 

Tadcaster Albion's famous Kop end

I went to a Women’s Premier League game once, Liverpool against Leeds if you really want to know, played at the home of Tadcaster Albion. The girls enjoyed themselves and so did we and that’s the main thing (have a pat on the head), but the standard of play, especially the goalkeepers, was eye-opening. Most shots hit hard enough to cross the line (and that wasn’t a given) went in, with goal kicks struggling to reach the centre circle. This isn’t mockery or sexism – it’s a statement of fact. And the main reason why the sport remains so unpopular in Britain. A special mention to England international Sue Smith here, who was an articulate pleasure to speak to after the game – the spoilt, disgraceful men could learn a thing or two from this brave lioness.

Sue Smith

Anyway, I probably will watch the England games if I’m free, just as I will watch any international sport, and so will a slowly increasing fanbase. The semi-professional Women’s Super League, introduced this year and played over the summer, is a fresh attempt to bring the sport into the mainstream, and the Germans have sold an impressive 80% of World Cup tickets – the final held at the 51,500 seat home of Eintracht Frankfurt. Everyone hopes for its success, and with England fifth favourites at 20/1, progression in the tournament could give the game a new lease of life in the UK.

Apparently tactics and strategies play a more important role in the female game, and this is all very good, but only the most cagouley of anoraks will tune into a game just to see Hope Powell’s flowing 4-3-3 formation. The technique and finesse is there, in small doses, but the lack of pace, power and yes, aggression, simply makes the women’s game dull to watch, once the novelty wears off. The quality of the football, even at this very highest of levels, will be blatantly substandard to what we saw in South Africa last year. And this, rather than any remote semblance of sexism, is why many football fans won’t bother watching it.